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Etiquette Lesson: What to Wear to a Funeral
Beinhauer Funeral • Jun 26, 2019
A funeral is a somber occasion, therefore it is important to be aware of tradition and cultural expectations when you decide what you are going to wear to a funeral or memorial service. It’s important, because in some societies, certain colors mean celebration while here in the United States, we may not associate it with a funeral. Read on so that you can make an informed decision the next time you attend a funeral. The last thing you want to do is worry about your clothing after the death of a friend or a loved one.
Color
Black has always been the traditional color for a funeral. However, it is not uncommon to see shades of gray, navy blue, or other dark neutrals at a funeral. If you’re uncertain about a particular shade, stick to black. Bright colors are generally not well accepted. Colors may be interpreted as insensitive, offensive and disrespectful. The only change to this rule is if the family asks mourners to wear a particular color to the funeral in memory of the deceased.
Formality
Strive to be formal, unless told otherwise. Don’t show a lot of skin and err on the side of conservative. If you wear a sleeveless dress, bring a cover-up with a blazer, shrug or a sweater. Men should plan to wear a suit and a tie. A funeral is typically formal or dressy casual unless, again, the family requests otherwise. No jeans. If you must choose between a patterned outfit vs. a plain outfit, choose the pain outfit; don’t be flashy. Do not choose a bright sundress! Your clothing should reflect respect toward the deceased and his or her family.
Accessories
Choose conservative dark shoes, such as something you might wear to the office. Remember to make sure that they are comfortable, especially if you will be walking to the gravesite. Wear traditional jewelry, such as a string of pearls or something else that is understated. Make sure you take the weather into account if you will be outside. Select a traditional tie and an appropriate colored pocket square for your suit.
Other Factors
Keep religion in mind when getting ready for the funeral. Do some quick research if you know there is a certain religious ritual that will take place. Does the deceased’s religion require more modesty in dress? Also, if you received a gift from the deceased that you can wear, such as a tie or a piece of jewelry that doesn’t fit in these etiquette rules, it’s usually ok to wear those items to memorialize the person you are celebrating. The family will be pleased to hear the story of the gifting and it may make you feel closer to your loved one.
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