Surviving the First Mother’s Day Without Your Mom

Anna Jarvis established the first Mother’s Day in 1908 to honor the life of her deceased mother and campaigned for it to be nationally recognized six years later.  This holiday, which occurs on the second Sunday of every May, is viewed as a time when children are able to openly celebrate the woman who gave them life.

Sure, it’s become a lot more commercialized since then, with florists, greeting card companies and bakeries all jumping on board to make a profit. Yet, the idea has generally remained the same.

For those who have recently experienced the death of their mother, the day can be difficult, especially if it’s been less than a year since her death.

Others may be busy taking mom out for lunch on May 13 while showering her with love, affection, and gifts from the Hallmark store, and you’re left with only past memories.

Although there isn’t a way to bring your mom back, the next best thing is to honor her and the impact she had on your life.

mother's day

It’s Okay to be Emotional  

Your mother may have been a rock in your life, the one person who always managed to keep things together, even when they seemed destined to fall apart. Without her, life may seem incomplete, simply because she was with you since day one.

Though you might want to be strong in the presence of your father, sibling, spouse or child to keep them from being sad, it’s okay to show emotion, if you choose.

Whatever you may be feeling in that particular moment – anger, grief or regret – it’s natural, and keeping it bottled up inside will just make matters worse.  As a result, don’t be afraid to let it all out. You’ll feel better in the long run.

Keep her Memory Alive

If your children are too young to remember their grandmother, there’s no better time to share personal stories that recount the good times than on Mother’s Day.

Pull out the old photo albums and narrate each major accomplishment of hers so your children can gain a better understanding of who she was as a person.

Or, if you’re lucky enough to have home movie footage of her during your childhood, pop in the VHS tape and watch every moment you can. Sometimes just hearing her voice can bring back precious memories you may have forgotten.

This can also be a meaningful experience to share with your siblings or anyone who knew your mother since they all bring a unique perspective to the table.

Visit the Gravesite

If your mother’s body was buried in a cemetery, it can be a comforting experience to visit the site on Mother’s Day and plant memorial flowers around her monument.

It won’t bring her back but being able to talk to her at her final resting place gives some people peace of mind and can assist in the healing process.

For more tips regarding how to handle the grieving process, or to learn about Beinhauer’s unique, family approach to funerals and cremations, give us a call at 724-941-3211.